Jeanie: 0:00

My name is Jeannie Martinez Garner Still. I married Jerry Still on June 8, 1996. Welcome to the beautiful party.

Mark: 0:13

I spent a lot of time with my Uncle Jerry growing up. It always seemed as if we were so much closer in age and interest than he was to his oldest brothers. So it was easy to see him as a cool uncle. Of course, all that cool uncle stuff only gets you so far in life. so I'm glad he found Jeannie. I'm excited to talk to Jeannie today and learn more about her life before choosing to marry into the beautiful party and what she thought about all of that as it was happening.

Music: 0:40

Music Hello, Aunt Jeanie.

Mark: 0:40

I probably won't ask her to spill any embarrassing Jerry stories. Well, as long as she doesn't ask me about it.

Jeanie: 0:53

Hi, Mark.

Mark: 0:54

I don't think I've ever called you Aunt Jeanie before.

Jeanie: 0:57

That's funny. Yeah.

Mark: 0:58

So, 96. That might explain why I have very vague recollections. I don't even know if I was at the wedding. So, you married Jerry in 96. When did you meet Jerry? How long before that?

Jeanie: 1:12

That would have been in January of 95 I moved over to Mobile summer of 93 to go to University of South Alabama I commuted for a summer from Pensacola and of course that got old kind of quickly and so then I met a nursing student and she was looking for a roommate she had a house on Mohawk Street and so I moved in with her and I got accepted into physical therapy school at South and lived in Midtown while I was going to school. And then, yeah, I met Jerry at St. Pius. He was taking his mother to Mass sometimes, and I'd seen him a couple of times before. But one Sunday, Grandma comes and walks and sits right by me, and he followed her. So they sat by me in Mass that Sunday, January 8, 1995. 95 and when i was walking out after mass the two of them were standing out there um jerry had said that he told her hold up a minute so they stopped out there and so i walked up to them and introduced myself she invited me to her house that day i had something going on but um so she always says that that that she she picked me for Jerry that.

Mark: 2:36

Tracks that tracks about right so it was moving quick right away and then so yeah that's different because you you met grandma the same day you met Jerry

Jeanie: 2:47

Yes yes and um i said you know i kind of let him know that i was going to school and lived over on mohawk street and he watched me drive off in my little honda prelude so later that afternoon after he played golf with his friend he left a business card with a note in his number on my windshield he found it on found me on mohawk street that's.

Mark: 3:08

Uh that's old school social media you have to track somebody down physically and leave a note on your

Jeanie: 3:13

Car yes but it but it worked i guess i.

Mark: 3:19

Guess so i guess so so uh how did it just keep moving quickly and you what was what was the next yeah we remember

Jeanie: 3:27

The lumber yard that was on dolphin street yeah.

Mark: 3:30

My band played That

Jeanie: 3:30

Was our first date that Wednesday night. We went to the lumberyard and had dinner. And then, boom, it was coming up Mardi Gras season. We went to Condé Cavaliers together. And then Inca Ball was that week after. And that's when I started meeting folks from the family. That's when I met your mom and dad. Sat up with them for the tableau. And, yeah, met Mark and Theresa and a lot of the others. So that was pretty cool. And so welcome to the Stills. Welcome to Mardi Gras and Mobile. Yeah. Yeah. So the Stills can be overwhelming, don't you?

Mark: 4:09

No, that's not that's not right. That doesn't that doesn't what that's not what I remember. But that's a good that's a good question. So how how similar or dissimilar was the family to what you were used to from your own family growing up?

Jeanie: 4:24

Oh, yeah, quite, quite different because I have three older sisters and they're 10, 11 and 13 years older than I am. So I was kind of that late surprise. And so they were all kind of moving out of the house. And then my daddy passed away the day before my senior year of high school. So definitely a lot choir atmosphere and not really in touch with cousins and uncles as much as the Stills are. So maybe that's why I embrace the Stills so much.

Mark: 5:02

But still similar because, you know, Jerry came along and I think Dad and Donnie were, gosh, they're probably older than 10 or 12 years difference at that point.

Jeanie: 5:10

Right, right. Yeah, but I guess she had a lot of ones in the middle, too, didn't she?

Mark: 5:14

Yeah, we've talked about that, where it's really three sets of kids. It was Dad and Donnie, and I forget how they broke it up. Dad, Donnie, Cecilia, or Dad, Donnie, Cecilia, the twins. And then, yeah, I think that was it. And then Jerry and Theresa.

Jeanie: 5:28

And then Jerry and Theresa. Yeah, it was crazy.

Mark: 5:32

Well, and you grew up in Pensacola, or where?

Jeanie: 5:35

I did. My daddy was in the Air Force and so moved around some with my sisters. But then by the time I came along, it was time for him to retire. And that was out of, I was born in Hurlburt Field over near Fort Walton. And as an infant, as a toddler, went down to Panama Canal Zone and then to North Carolina. And then he retired in Pensacola because that's where my mom grew up. He had grown up in New York City, and so they just went ahead and settled in Pensacola.

Mark: 6:11

Interesting. You know, Jerry was in the Air Force.

Jeanie: 6:14

Yeah, I heard that. It's funny because he and I have been same places at different times. Because I was married before, that's where the Garner comes from. I was married in 1986 to James Garner, who was a helicopter pilot. The Rockford Files? helicopter pilot so within i was stationed in germany with him and jerry had been in germany Jerry lived in atlanta for work for a while i went to atlanta for a while for work after my divorce, and seems like there's one other it's going to escape me so it was just kind of cool that we'd been same places but different times yeah.

Mark: 6:55

That's interesting it's funny how that works So you kind of like the family feel and the cousins and the brothers and the sisters everywhere, right?

Jeanie: 7:06

Sometimes overwhelming, though.

Mark: 7:09

I'm always interested in that first impression. Now, you had a different first impression because you met Grandma at church. But, you know, the first Christmas at the Stills with Billy or the fellow whose name I can't forget before him that did Santa Claus. I mean, that's always a mind-bending event.

Jeanie: 7:26

See, and I don't know if that was kind of coming to a close by the time I came along, because right after I met everybody, it was... I'll have to see if it was 95 or 96 that she had her heart attack and her open heart surgery and then had a stroke. I guess that was 95 and had a stroke that summer. So that's kind of how I knew her more longer after her stroke than before.

Mark: 8:02

Yeah.

Jeanie: 8:03

And so Grandpa was a bit worn down from taking care of her, which is, you know, he loved her to death. But that's a lot to do. And then that's when all the siblings started stepping up and having their meetings and taking turns trying to help take care. And so that's good family.

Mark: 8:26

Yeah. Before we get too far down that, you and Jerry get married. And then how long before we start having children?

Jeanie: 8:36

Oh, yeah. One quick thing, because it wasn't too long after we got married. You asked something about a family get together. I remember it was like one Sunday afternoon before we had kids. And he said, I think I'm going to make cabbage rolls. And I'm like, what? OK, what? You know, I didn't know what that meant. and four hours later there were 20-25 people in our little 1400 square foot house over on via alta drive and i didn't know what was happening to me because i was i think i hyperventilated because you know what a cabbage roll thing is they come oh yeah they.

Mark: 9:10

Somehow just know

Jeanie: 9:12

So he made a few phone calls and then my house was full like wait but i have to clean house what do you mean i didn't know and so i've learned to settle down some but things that he He took for granted growing up in that environment was just like, what do you mean? What am I going to do? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. So it kind of stressed me out for a while.

Mark: 9:33

Yes, we've had those too. But still, cabbage rolls. You can't beat that.

Jeanie: 9:38

There you go. There you go.

Mark: 9:40

How often does he make cabbage rolls these days?

Jeanie: 9:44

Maybe two or three times a year still.

Mark: 9:46

Yeah, I can taste them right now. Now, it's funny.

Jeanie: 9:50

If you come, that just gives him a reason to make some.

Mark: 9:54

Yeah, maybe I could just demand that when I know I'm coming anyway.

Jeanie: 10:00

Oh, good. When?

Mark: 10:01

I don't know.

Jeanie: 10:03

Oh, okay. We'll have to figure that out. We'll be ready.

Mark: 10:06

We're going to come sneak down and bring Mama back in a couple of weeks, but she's going to come up to Birmingham and then we'll fly back to Denver. You guys should come out and visit.

Jeanie: 10:16

Good, good. Good. We're getting a little more flexible now that the kiddos are growing up. And yeah, like he's so we'll segue that back to kiddos. Yeah, we were married in June of 96. And Emily, well, of course, he already had Hannah and Hannah was four or five. She was born in August of 1990. Jerry and I got married in 96, and Emily was born in March of 98. And because he and I were both getting older, it's like, okay, don't need a whole lot of waiting around. And then Allison and Ethan, pretty soon after that, Allison and Emily are just less than two years apart, and Allison and Ethan are a little more than two years apart in age.

Mark: 11:05

Yeah.

Jeanie: 11:06

Because once you get in your 30s, you may as well get going. I was almost 33 when I had Emily. Yeah.

Mark: 11:13

These days, I think that's more common.

Jeanie: 11:16

Probably. Yeah.

Mark: 11:17

It's just funny because Jerry, I spent a lot of time with Jerry growing up for, I guess, a long stretch from late grade school to through high school. And it always felt like we were closer in age. I mean, probably, I do the math. We may have been closer than him and my dad. But it's funny because my kids are older than your kids.

Jeanie: 11:39

Yeah. It's kind of neat, though, how the generations do overlap. Yeah. Yeah.

Mark: 11:43

All right. So kids came along. Everybody happy? Well.

Jeanie: 11:48

More or less.

Mark: 11:49

More or less. More or less happy. What else? So at some point, I had to recalibrate. That was rather late as far as grandma and grandpa. Now, at some point, Grandpa lived with you guys for quite a while, right?

Jeanie: 12:04

Yeah, that was much later. He had some depression and obvious issues then after Grandma passed away. And so Jerry was inviting him over lots, and Theresa was trying to get him to stay up there some. And the dementia started setting in, which I almost wonder sometime for a couple of reasons if that wasn't almost a blessing. because I think maybe he forgot some of his sadness. I don't know if that's a thing, but, and also he told his stories a lot, but that's good, that's helped me remember because Ethan gets mad at me because I don't remember things he tells me. So I remember things grandpa said, but he told his stories a lot of times, so that was good. And they all have good memories of him being here.

Mark: 12:54

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't get I wasn't around a lot towards the end, but, you know.

Jeanie: 13:00

Right. So and so I also understand that I met the kinder, gentler grandpa.

Mark: 13:04

You know, they talk about that. But I mean, I had fun with grandpa as a kid and you could see him being gruff. But, you know, I think kinder, gentler grandpa came along relatively early around when I was.

Jeanie: 13:18

Oh, okay, okay. I just hear Jerry talk about his grandma and grandpa's knockdown drag out sometimes into redhead tempers.

Mark: 13:27

Yeah, and I remember my dad talking about he'd do something stupid, and then he'd wake up with grandma just with the coal rag on his face going, baby, you got to quit making him mad like that. Grandpa didn't mess around. Dad used to say he had fists like a nine-pound splitting mold. So I think kinder, gentler grandpa, he'd been around a while by then.

Jeanie: 13:47

Okay. All right. All right.

Mark: 13:49

But Jerry, he certainly came by that, honestly. I think Grandpa was, he was old school back in the day.

Jeanie: 13:57

Oh, can we talk about Destin a little bit?

Mark: 14:00

Destin? Sure.

Jeanie: 14:01

Yeah. Just because that's part of where my kids grew up and grew up with the Stills, and it was kind of the Cooks. It was Mark's parents who kind of started camping there with some of their National Guard buddies. and then they were going to be there in Destin when Jerry and I were on our honeymoon. I had a friend who let us stay in a condo on the Gulf. So Hannah was able to kind of be with us and kind of stay with Teresa that first time that I remember going to Destin. And so this has to be included into posterity because Billy and Mark came fishing on the Gulf one night while I'm on my honeymoon. moon and then there's a knock on the door and it's billy and mark because billy had to go to the bathroom he comes in our condo on my honeymoon and destroys the bathroom, i know it had to be included i'm sorry that's.

Mark: 15:02

Classic Billy though

Jeanie: 15:04

But so we'll segue back to dustin which was um a military area and we would go every year and now out every other year and still get a bunch of condos or cabins and each family fixes dinner one night for 40 to 50 people so that's a that's a still vacation extraordinaire and i'm i'm glad my kids have been a part of that and have memories of that because that that was an awesome party Yeah.

Mark: 15:35

That's beautiful.

Jeanie: 15:37

Ongoing.

Mark: 15:38

Yeah. So what's the most frustrating thing about your husband?

Jeanie: 15:46

And probably how he didn't see how something he thought was a good idea would stress me out. But I'm definitely a higher stress individual than he is anyway. So he's like, yeah, we'll just go to death and nothing to it. I'm like, OK, but I got kids nap times because, again, they were growing up there. So I had to work around naps and everybody wanted to stay up late and I had to get kids to bed. And OK, well, I'm nursing a child right now when we're out on the boat and I'm sitting out on the beach. my back to everybody so I could nurse one of my babies. So stressful things like that. But it's like, hey, it's a family. It's a good time. Like, yeah, let's just call a few people who have cabbage rolls. And then there's going to be 20 people in your house tonight.

Mark: 16:29

Yeah, but you're smiling. Nobody can see this. You're smiling while you say all that.

Jeanie: 16:34

Yeah, but well, and of course, that's easy to do when you look back at something years years later i'm sure i brought a lot of that on myself because i'm kind of a stressful personality anyway and i'm glad nobody can be respond because this is a one-sided, there's not a comment there's not a comment.

Mark: 16:53

Section on the podcast there's not

Jeanie: 16:55

That's right there.

Mark: 16:56

May be other podcasts where uh people have comments but so far that hadn't really happened

Jeanie: 17:01

All right but i bet.

Mark: 17:03

I bet if i ask what's some of the the best times that's some Some of the same, some of the same things.

Jeanie: 17:09

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And that's, I guess, also human nature that you don't appreciate when you're in the middle of something as much as sometimes when you can can look back on it with a little different perspective.

Mark: 17:22

Yeah. So you said kids getting close to having kids at house. How old is Ethan? Because Ethan's the youngest, right?

Jeanie: 17:28

Yeah, he's 22. He's 22. Tell me about it. Yeah. Yeah, and he's doing junior college right now. He and Emily still live in here. Allison just got married last October. She and Warren just bought a house not too far from here. So, yeah, and Hannah's living up in Nashville and just got to see her and her boyfriend Rob not too long ago. 22? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we saw somebody at a place downtown, a friend of Denise Wilson's, And she gave Emily a hug. She said, Emily, you're old enough to drink. And we're like, Ethan's old enough to drink. So it was kind of funny. You know how you freeze kids at a certain age. Yeah. And yeah, so it's neat. And I guess the thing I'm happiest about is that my kids are friends with each other. And they're finally starting to embrace that their cousins are their friends, too. And so that's kind of neat.

Mark: 18:33

Yeah, and that's part of what all this is for. We want to make sure that down the road you're able to make those connections even if we don't all live near each other.

Jeanie: 18:43

Yeah, yeah. And I've told them sometimes every now and then through the years, I said, y'all were born into the greatest family. Of course, there were usually alcoholic beverages that accompanied those sentiments.

Mark: 18:56

Yeah.

Jeanie: 18:57

When you're waxing philosophic, oh, y'all don't know how lucky you are.

Mark: 19:02

Again, with the hindsight,

Jeanie: 19:04

It's easy to say it that way. They're learning to appreciate it.

Mark: 19:09

Well, that's good. That's fun. Well, I guess they're not out of the house, but they could be. No. And you can certainly just leave them.

Jeanie: 19:17

And we do that every so often, but that's okay, too. Jerry and I went to Croatia in April. I heard.

Mark: 19:23

How was that?

Jeanie: 19:24

Yeah, it was neat, but it's funny. We were gone for two weeks, and I really had a good itinerary and got to see and do a lot. lot and we got along very well together which is you know that's really the first long trip we've taken just us so it was it was really a good experience got to see and do a lot but about by day 12 we're 11 or 12 we were getting a little homesick.

Mark: 19:51

Yeah but it's good though because a lot of times we all go through that you go through the kids raising and all the family stuff and all the work that goes on then all of a sudden it's just the two of you somewhere and i wonder how this This is going to work out.

Jeanie: 20:04

Yeah. Are we going to like each other? Yeah.

Mark: 20:07

Sounds like y'all had a good time.

Jeanie: 20:09

Most days we do.

Mark: 20:11

That's good. That's good. What else is worth mentioning in the history of things?

Jeanie: 20:16

Yeah, because I guess I wanted to say how that all came to be about then that Grandpa came to live with us was 2005, Hurricane Katrina. He was still living in the Lansdowne house. and he had been coming to visit a lot with me and Jerry, but. After that, the Duda Sats were displaced because they were living in New Orleans. Their house got ruined, a lot of flooding, so they needed a place to stay. So we're like, Grandpa, why don't you come stay with us so the Duda Sats can stay in your house? And so he sounded agreeable to that. Unfortunately, he forgot that a couple of times. He was still driving, so he would drive to his house and there would be a whole family in his house that he didn't really remember the whole why. So Colleen would kind of have to explain that to him or say, Jerry, remind your dad what's going on here. And so even after they had their kids here at St. Dominic and at school for a whole semester while they were getting their house redone, and then after they moved back to New Orleans, it's just like, well, why don't you just stay a little longer? And we always kind of made it sound temporary and we had this lead somehow into you don't need to be driving anymore. So obviously that's always a delicate situation and I don't recall exactly how all that happened. But then, yeah, I think he was at that point the appeal of an empty house wasn't there for him. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, he just he was just the newest, newest member of the family and yet the oldest member of the family. There you go.

Mark: 22:07

It's like a circle. He just got back around to the other side. That's beautiful. That's wonderful that you and your kids got a chance to have that time with him.

Jeanie: 22:16

Yeah. And so we went to the ballpark if the kids were playing. And he went to the ballpark with us. And there was there was one night that he comes walking over. over grandpa was walking over from another field and my friend said is your father-in-law all right because he was crying but it was because he was laughing so hard that he was crying and i said what happened and jerry said as we were getting up and picking up our chairs grandpa let one rip and i told him he just set that lady's hair on fire, he was still laughing from that, so jerry started making up different reasons about what grandpa would say what happened to my car oh don't you remember so he got tired of telling the same thing so he would just make up elaborate stories oh don't you remember it got driven off the cliff or just something and so he had to get um creative so the grandpa knew that it was a made-up story but it it distracted him and they I went on to something else.

Mark: 23:24

Yeah, it's fine. Melissa's grandmother, when it was time for her to stop driving, her uncle just disconnected the starter. So, Granny would go out and try and start the car. And then she'd call Freddy and say, my car doesn't start. He'd go, really? I wonder why that is. I'll come look at it. This was just going on over and over again.

Jeanie: 23:40

Right, right.

Mark: 23:42

Oh, that's great. What else? Anything else you want to talk about or bring up? I think we've covered a lot of ground.

Jeanie: 23:49

No, I just love the get-togethers. and people move and people come back and and it just pick up where you left off.

Mark: 23:58

Yeah well maybe we'll uh end it there and we'll pick up where we left off if you think of something else sounds good well it's good to chat thanks for doing this thank

Jeanie: 24:10

You for letting me ramble because i really did get going once i got.

Mark: 24:13

Going it's stuff a lot of that i'd never heard before and i think I think if I haven't heard it, probably other people hadn't heard it. And that's the idea. And I'm glad that Jerry didn't sneak around and try and influence anything. Because I wanted this to just be you.

Jeanie: 24:26

I got the door shut. I didn't invite him.

Mark: 24:28

Well, thanks again. And I'll get this up. I'll send you a link when it's done. And then we'll go from there.

Music: 24:34

Music